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July 23rd, 2009

08:56 am - A seldom post of frequent subject A rare post for me. This is just dedicated to missed opportunities, and being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Also being born in the wrong century. Hi to all my friends I don't know if I have any left? I know I don't deserve any of you with my extended period being MIA Nonetheless isf you see it in your hearts to forgive me, stop by and sya hello. .............The women that this is dedicated to knows who she is, as to whether she reads this or not,,,,,,,,,,,,,it's alwaays been a roll of the dice and up to fate from the start. I will follow this fate to whatever end it may take me. The Frozen Arch The Silver arch gleamed as the backdrop for the recent All-star game. The arch I saw was no arch to me. It was that elusive unending rainbow with the promise of gold at its infinite path. It is not the riches of gold I seek. It is the riches in my heart, memories,only memories of when I was golden, memories of when we were golden and shared our own rainbow. No one could see this rainbow, there were those that scarcely believed in it's existence. This rainbow was real, It is clear in my mind, and it's luminous colors arch through my heart. The luminous colors have since faded, it's life force is still evident. The colors and life force remain dormant. They will never die, they will never fade. They simply wait and endure, waiting for the few words, waiting for the glimmer of hope to illuminate the Rainbows natural beauty, to illuminate the glow that once shown bright in my heart. Yes the monument of The Gateway to the West stands tall and proud and silver and never ending. It is the also the same with my heart, it's hope is never ending, it's colors hang onto the last pale frost of winter, pale frozen droplets cling in the morning air, awaiting the first glimmer of sun. Is it You??? Current Mood: mischievous

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December 5th, 2006

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November 27th, 2006

08:50 am - SPERM-INTRUDERS Hey Ya'll, I realize that it is not not too unusual that my post-ages comes few and far in-between. Yet seriously my LJ time has become quite limited as of late. Despite my absentee-ism (yes I realize the spelling error. No I am not from TN, despite the spelling and the "ya'll") {( sorry Michele, just joking)}. Ah yes, my point. I do have one. Yet before I get there, I do need to give an honorable shout out, to a former dear friend of mine. MERRY THANK-MAS !!!!! A few may realize whom this is directed to. Now for real, my point. I recently failed an important test. Despite my diligence in preparation for this test. Diligence is an understatement, as my diligence has continued after as well. Though this is quite contradictory, I PASSED a swimming test !!!! Not so much did I pass the test, my boys passed the test. My boys, meaning my little sperm-intruders. NO I do not have my third child on the way. The only reason this is worth mentioning at all is due to the fact, a couple months back. I was snipped, vasectomized, a section of the track removed. Oh yes, I had the Hairy Little Foreign man with a name which I cannot pronounce. He did these "mean and nasty" things to me, that paralleled things that Hitler, had originated during the Holocaust. Oh yes, he cut, numbed, and removed sections of my anatomy. It reminded me very much of my first divorce. Oh yes, the train track in which my little sperm intruders are supposed to use to get from point A to point B has been removed. (BTW I am ex-specially FOND of point B) Nonetheless Point B is supposed to have NON-swimmers!!!! Yet both times I have had the pleasure of dropping off my sample. Yes that part was a pleasure. Though the specimen cups could have a little larger opening. Not to mention the manufacturer could take a little extra precaution to take down some sharp edges. Nonetheless, being the team player that I am, I supplied the proper samples. Of course they had to send me away 18 consecutive days in a row due to the fact that I wasn't scheduled for appts. on those days. So now what the Hell do I do ??? I realize that my little sperm-intruders are in high demand due to my thoroughbred lineage to the thrown of Polish Royalty. Yet I don't want anymore contneders to the Polish House of Royalty !!! I have my two legitimate heirs. I don't want anymore heirs. All of this could cause civil unrest and potentially could cause a revolution iun the Polish house of royalty. This in turn would leave the door wide open to an invasion by either Germany or Russia !!!! Please Help me. My Sperm-intruders must DIE. Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: Caught in a Trap----Elvis Tags: and polish royalty, sperm requests

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June 2nd, 2006

10:37 am - SPICE IT !!!! During a recent conversation with 'Dunkin Dunuts' the topic of my sex life has come up. I was saying that in the last year, I've grown bored with myself. All the spontinaity which I have to offer myself has run it's course. I'm just not as exciting as I used to be. Now in order to spice up my sex life, I had a rather creative idea, which by the way she found to be quite tacky. Now she is a flirtacious and sexy woman, so this post isn't about how tacky she found my idea. Its just a post about the innovative way I had to spice up my sex life. I have decided to buy myself a, Xena the Warrior Princess, hand puppet. I'll let everyone know how this idea works out for me. Did I hear anyone request pictures ??? ha ha ha Current Location: near by, yet unseen, and always watching Current Mood: amused

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March 30th, 2006

04:18 pm - EX-WIFE RANT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have always said that my second ex-wife is by far my favorite ex wife. Here is an example WHY !!! Now my children are from my first marraige. BTW this really has nothing to do with my second ex. My daughter Emily turned 11 on the 29th. This weekend she is having a sleepover and the evil ex's with her friends. I wanted to do something special, something different for my daughter. I called one of these services that come by in the middle of the night and put all kinds of lawn decorations up and a sign with a Birthday greeting. Now I am paying for this $80.00, it's not a bid deal. They are going to decorate the lawn with hearts, smily faces and frogs, along with the sign. Therefore when she wakes up in the morning with all her friends VOLIA !!! instant surprise. Just out of courtesy, I informed the evil ex #1 of my plans. What type of response did I get ??? "Oh no don't do that, it's a waste of money. Take her shopping instead, let her pick out clothes." I will be doing this with my daughter anyways. I am NOT doing this instead of buying her a present. She will be getting presents from me as well. Oh it doesn't end here. She even called me back, not ONCE, but fucking TWICE to try to talk me out of doing this. I agree this idea is not practical. However it is intended to make my daughter feel special. Evil ex #1 is such a whiny pain in the ass bitch. I just want to fucking scream !!! I'm doing this for my daughter. One smile, one look of surprise from her, and I feel it is money well spent. This woman is such a major pain in the ass, a never ending hemerhoid. AAAAHHHHHH !!!!! This is for my daughter, it's for her. As far as I am concerned, that should be it, end of story. It's my money. Here I was feeling pretty good about planning a simple little surprise for my girl. Then this evil bitch has to put a damper on my mood. I Thank God for everyday that I wake up and are not married to this woman. Thank You Lord. Current Mood: angry Current Music: Bon Jovi--- Born to be My Baby

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January 16th, 2006

12:23 pm - Because Sheenanoodle Made me, and I am afraid of her and Carlette YOU 1. Name: 2. Date of birth: 3. Where you live: 4. What makes you happy: 5. Currently listening/the last thing you listened to: 6. Do you read my journal?: 7. If yes, what makes it especially good or bad?: 8. An interesting fact about you: 9. Are you in love/do you have a crush at the moment?: 10. Favourite place to spend time: 11. Favourite lyric: 12. The best time of the year: RECOMMEND 1. A film: 2. A book: 3. A band, a song, or album: PLUS 1. One thing you like about me: 2. Two things you like about yourself: 3. Look at my friends-list and tell what you like about one of our mutual friends: 4. Put this in your journal so that I can tell you what I like about you. Current Mood: stressed

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January 6th, 2006

10:15 am - THE SURE THING Remember that old movie with Joh Cusak "The Sure Thing". That hand has been dealt to me. I must admit with my tennis elbow and all, my willpower is weak and dwindling away. An old girlfriend from 18 years ago has been calling me. At first the calls were innocent, she called offering condolences on my Mom's death. We chatted for awhile, it was a good chat. I think I have spoke to her one time previous to this in the 18 years which we have not been together. She was a girlfriend before my first marraige. I affectionatly reffer to her as 'psycho-bitch. I was at my worst when I was with her. I did not like myself or the life I had at that point. She wanted to get married. Yet I knew that we were terrible for eachother. I was one signature away of going into the military just to get away from her. You see I was weak back then, I was not a nice or even a good person back then. Her retalition for my potential military, was to make a faux half ass attempt at suicide by taking a bunch of pills. She was jealous, manipulative, and controling. Finally through the grace of God we did break up. Even though 3 months after the break up she wanted me back. She was mean and vindictive, by harrassing me at work, and even calling my family. Being away from her for those few months had helped make me a better and stronger person. I did not go back with her, and we went our seperate ways. Now psycho-bitch is very charming. She could go into a room full of strangers and walk away knowing there life stories. Nuff, history fast forward to present day. A few days after the condolence call. She calls again, after chatting for a few, she wanted to know if I would like to meet her. That Night!!! I politely declined. The phone calls continued. The conversations were all about sex and fantasy. At this point my ego is riding high. A married ex wanting to hook up with me for guilt free sex. She had even hinted that it may very well turn into a threesome with one of her friends. Yet when it came time to put-up or shut-up. I chose to shut-up. I mean no pun with this statement, yet if her and I have sex I feel as if we would be opening Pandora's Box(no her name is not Pandora). I think back to all the ugly times her and I spent together. How miserable my life was. I have a sneaking suspicion that one time would not be the end of it. I have a strong feeling that she would be holding the strings and I would be the puppet. In all honesty, I feel sorry for her husband. He hasn't a clue of her many affairs that she has confessed to me. I remember many years ago, that her and my kids were taking ice skating lessons. Not the same class, just the same arena. I would see her husband with her kids, he was so attentive and so Loving to his kids, it left an impression with me. Not that I am uopposed to threesome sex, its not that she is a psycho, this is not a victimless crime. The main reason I won't go through with this, is because of that impression her husband left on me. Sorry Psycho, Not with me you don't Current Mood: grateful

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January 5th, 2006

12:31 pm - Strange Fact Strange but true fact. After years of playing tennis, it wasn't until my recent divorce that I developed tennis elbow...........Ummmmm think about it for a second or two. Current Mood: amused

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December 24th, 2005

11:30 am - I THINK I DUN GOOD With the recent passing of my Mom, obviously the holiday cheer is not abundant in my family. Speaking with my 95 year old grandmother, I asked her what she wanted for Christmas. Understandably after just losing her daughter, she was a little bitter and said "Not a damn thing". OK I took this in stride having already made my choice anyways as to her gift. She has had birds all her life. Yet when she was forced to move in with my Mom, my Mom was not keen on the extra care and mess of birds. After I had this conversation with my Grandma, I proceded to the pet store. I picked her out not one, but two Canaries. She always enjoyed it when they sang. Her first response to tghi s was "what the Hell did you have to spend all that money for" You see it not just finances with my family. If things weren't practical they just do without. Yet within 2 minutes of having the cage set up and the birds in it, she was over there in her wheel chair making chirping sounds to the birds. As I was leaving I said to her, "you see next time I ask what type of present you want you had better answer, or next time you may wind up with a pet Ferret. Her response, it was a classic, touching and very heartfelt which I will never forget. She said "if you do, i will turn you over my knee and whip the shit out of you" That smile she gave with that statement was worthg the price of a hundred canaries. That was my favorite holiday moment in years and years Current Mood: jubilant

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December 14th, 2005

01:52 pm - Un confortablt sorrow-ful. Wanting to rol the dice jus one more time An Update to my previous entry when I stated that I had no tears and was not able to feel. The exception to this was having to tell my children of their Grandmother passing. It broke my heart telling them of the news. Watchiing the tears sweel their eys shut, until what was left of their vision was redness, and an abundance of tears. They adored my Mom. As my Mom adored them. This an eulogy of sorts, the following are the words are what I read for my Mom and at her funeral' The words, the words do not come easy. There are words of sorrow and loss, of sadness, and of frustration. Words of looking back, and wishing that I had the ability to take a 'do over' in life. Wishing I was able to roll the dice again. Wishing I had called more often, wishing I had installed that ceiling fan she requested Wanting to go back in time and to help my Mom more than I did. Wishing I insisted that she go to the Doctors the last time I spoke with her. On the last day of her life. She spent doing what she Loved, doing for others. The last day of her life, she did for me. She checked on my Dogs, and she vacuumed for me. She was obviously weak, her voice was strained, and her breathing was shallow. Yet she gave of herself. These will be my frustrations and my guilt. Then this is not about me. I will deal with my regrets. This is not a time for regrets. This is a time of celebration. To celebrate the life she chose, the life she wanted. While going over the mountain of paperwork dating back to 1957. She had the means to improve her quality of life. She had the means to give her the creature comforts which we all have and we all take for granted. She was quite content in her life. She was happy in her life, the material way of life was not her way. She enjoyed the laundry-mat as opposed to having a washer and dryer of her own. She enjoyed her alone time, making friends and discussing life with the people she knew there. She was content with having a home with older carpeting, as she knew her mother was able to maneuver her wheel chair easily through the worn out fabric. I did not understand this, though my suggestions to improve her life were quite logical. They were logical for me, yet not for her. I did not understand her ignoring my sound advise. It’s not until after her passing that I understood the validity of her choices. This where my pride had a major awakening. The fact that my suggestions were nonsense to her. Of course she never told me how ridiculous my thoughts were to her way of life. She had what she required to give her a content life. I was blind to this until recently. Giving and doing, and sacrificing was her way. Another aspect of her which I had mis-read. I thought her sacraficeing for others was her playing the role of the martyr. I couldn’t of been more worng. This is just the Loving and kind person that was Marilyn. I am sorry Mom for all my misconceptions. There are no words about my Mom that would be complete without words about my children, Eric and Emily. They brought her more joy, more happiness and more pride that can be put into words. They were her greatest gift, she cherished them, they were her greatest pride, they were the smile on her face, they were the warmth, the contentment, the inner glow that best defined my Mom. To say they were part of her life is quite the understatememnt. They were her life, they were the best part of her. They truly adored her as well. Their every smile, their every accomplishment, their every joy. It stoked her enternal flame. On holidays and Birthdays, our traditional paper fights with discarded wrapping paper. Gave her joy depite the fact she did not condone us trashing the living room. Eric with his never ending quips which left her unable to compete in a word of wars with my son. Despite her being beaten on the battlefield of words She would walk away smiling and glowing. Then there was Emily with her playful sacasm, her playful teasing of everyone in the room including herself, my Uncle, and yes even I fell victim to Emily’s playfulness. Again my Mom would light up with every word my daughter spoke. As she would always set beautiful place settings for our holiday feast. Let us not forget my Uncle her brother, they would still fight as 12 year old brothers and sister do. Though there was no malice in there battles. It was just how they expressed their Love. Now my Moms most formidable opponent was our family matriarch Helen, her mother and my Grandmother. Though my Grandmother was supposed to be under my Moms care. It wasn’t quite that way. After a holiday dinner there was always a race to the sink between the two of them. To see who got first crack at the dirty dishes. These were some intense battles, which usually ended with my Grandma being pushed out of the kitchen, calling my Mom a stubborn Pollock. Yet while these battles seems quite fierce at the time. They were the most Loving and caring of contests, that will stay wih me for all of my time. It was my Moms way. The greatest testimonial to my Mom came while Speaking on the phone telling friends and acquaitamnces of my Moms passing. I would here the same words over and over again. Your Mom was so kind, so sweet, your Mom was always there for me, your Mom was my rock. Your Mom I liked from day one, she never held back and she told you what she thought. Yet these were all terms of endearment. Terms of Love. Mom will be missed by many. She will be missed by me, being robbed of the ability to roll the dice one more time, never being able to land on Virgil street, to have her answer the door. Mom, I do Love You Current Mood: cynical Current Music: Pink Floyd Wish You were Here

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October 28th, 2005

11:57 am - Let Her rest Now I must caution anyone that may read this, that there is no disrespect or malicious reasons behind this post. Just my own twisted veiw of reality and the way I perceive the world. This is about the death of Rosa Parks. Everything I have read and/or heard about the woman, has been positive. Very humble, and a very brave woman. What strikes me as odd and somewhat humorous, is the way they are parading the poor dead woman around the country. Yes she deserves to be remembered, and there are many that wish to pay their respects. However my God from Detroit to Alabama to DC, then back to Detroit ???? Isn't that all a bit ridiculous??? Shit why not do it all by motorcade??? I know have her tour the country propped up in a friggin convertable, waving to the crowd. Put a Hawian shirt on her, dark glasses, and instead of calling it "weekend at Bernies", we can have the sequel, "Weekend at Rosa's" Let the woman rest in peace, as humble as she lived her life, let her rest. Current Mood: discontent

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September 16th, 2005

11:08 am - A Break from the Drama I alwyas like these quizzes that lets me display huge amounts of testosterone. A Friggin hero, yeah*HIGH FIVE* OK so I do not beleive in high fiving anyone. That was just the testosterone speaking. You were killed during a mission or while trying to protect someone and you died with honor. you never regretted what you did and you are a very brave and strong individual. You know what is right and you are willing to stand up for it. Even if it means death. How did you die in your past life? (for everyone) brought to you by Quizilla

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September 8th, 2005

04:33 pm - THE HOUR OF THE WOLF Yes I am typing this a very humbled man. My Summer was rough, and was one of transition. Yes the divorce is pending. That issue seems quite irrelavant compared to how low I let meyself sink this year. I have always had severe anxiety and take Paxil, and now a wide variety of medications to get me straight. My anxiety picqued around the 4th of July. I was already well on my way to crash and burn. It was around the 4th when I finally said to myself fuck it. I went over to my 24 year old cousins house, her name is Lori. Knowing damn good and welll that she has severe issues herself. I went there knowing that she would help medicate me into oblivion. I was hitting the bottle heavy and hard. Upon arriving at her house she supplied me with weed and pills. Alcohol weed and pills. Anyone see the pending crash and burn scenario?? Well I think I passed out around 8pm, I woke up at Noon. I don't remeber even driving home. Upon arriving home, my wife was there packing. I decided to say fuck it once more and began poisoning myself at a feverish pitch. I never made it to work on the 5th, however I polished off one. The next two weeks I had sparatic attendence at my job. Once I saw the vacation and sick day bank quickly shrinking. I was beyond helping myself. I had poisoned myself so much< I ended up hospitalized. I was in the detox ward, right down the hall from the psychiatric ward. I had hit bottom. Thank god i work for a large company, I haave good health insurance. The docotr did not hesitate in filling out all the proper paper work, to give me the time off I needed. Had I kept up doing what I was doing by drinking myself into mini-comas. I would not be typing right now. I went through and extensive outpatient program. i relapsed once during that time. Once again I almost died. I was pathetic. I had to look outside for garbage cans so I could determine what day it was. Then the question that was commonly asked at the hospital was, how much did you drink and when was the last time you ate? i could not answer either of those questions Not ot mention spending my B-day locked up in a hospital was another nail in my coffin............ To make long and pathetic story of my demise short. Somehow with the help of God and kind words from Sue-Ellen. I made it through. I am now back to work. I am now constantly working on my recovery. I can never again drink. I can never again stop working my recovery. Now there is more to tell about my struggles of trying to keep my house, and how my Loving father turned his back on me the first tiem I EVER had asked him for help. Those stories are for antoher time. Has anyone ever heard the term, "the hour of the wolf" it is a statement that refers to being awake at night around 3 am or 4 am, whenit seems as if you are the only one awake and alive. It is basically stating that it is a very lonely time. That is where I have spent my Summer, in the hour of the wolf. I have come back. I am not quite so sarcastic and as cynical as I once was. Though not to fret, my mind and my life is slowly coming back to me. I am surrendering to God letting him tend to the wolf inside of me. Just writng this has helped. Knowing that there are you people my friends out ther that do care, has helped. So ladies and gents, boys and girls that is how I spent my Summer vacation. One last honorable mention to someone that has been in my corner my soon to be ex-wife was very suppotive of me. She took care of my dogs while I couldn't. Yes I return here now a far humbled person than I was in June. Humblely Yours; Len Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: Survivor------- Can' Hold Back

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June 18th, 2005

11:45 pm - He is a Mammal, a warm blooded creature.... ........A creature which is real with real emotion. Yes my friends I have feelings. The kids are here this weekend. So here I am watching, "Racing Stripes" on dvd with my kids. My 12 year old son is quite cynical about watching such a wholesome movie. I wonder where he gets that from ???? Yet my 10 year old daughter is liking it. I'm watching it sprawled out on the floor with a comfy floor pillow. Furniture is for wimps, just like pulp free OJ. Out of the blue, my daughter just decides that I am more comfy than the couch. I'm kind of laying on my side with my neck propped with my arm. She climbs off the couch without saying a word, and just lays on me while watching the movie. While hugs and kisses on the cheek are shared. This was different. It gave a feeling of such contentment, it took me back to when she was a baby. It is the best Fathers day gift ever. Just sharing that closness of snuggling with your child. Days of which I thought were gone. Perhaps I will never feel that closness again. Yet I thank God and my daughter for tonight. It is a powerful force that can make a heart of stone melt. Mine melted tonight. Current Mood: indescribable

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April 26th, 2005

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November 30th, 2004

12:34 pm - THE SHY SUN.........Yep thats me BTW, I stole this quiz from hotmamatoo2003, whom herself had stolen it from momof3teens. Yes one of these days I will post something other than a friggin quiz. Yet why bother, I'm always snooping on all of ya'll. I throw in my 2 cents, words of wisdom, clever banter, sexuallydeviant opinions, and yes even poetry and sonnets. Thats just me, if I'm at a party I'm never hanging with the men talking sports, I'm usually circling the herd of women trying to watch for a stray that may wander off alone. No thats not correct, I saw that on Animal Planet last night. My point being, at a party I'm always bounding from group to group to group. Until its time for dinner and then I'm at the kids table. Kids are more fun that adults anyhow. Thats it for now friends. So from plane of thought to yours. Please remeber my moto...........Reality Sux You Are From the Sun Of all your friends, you're the shining star. You're dramatic - loving attention and the spotlight. You're a totally entertainer and the life of the party. Watch out! The Sun can be stubborn, demanding, and flirty. Overall, you're a great leader and great friend. The very best! What Planet Are You From? Current Mood: don't know what recumbant is Current Music: "Hip to be Square"

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July 1st, 2004

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June 29th, 2004

07:00 am - Sid and Nancy You are Sid Vicious. Your motto is live fast, die young. You are bound to be great, but no one will appreciate your greatness until there's a biopic made about your life starring Gary Oldman. Which punk rock god are you? brought to you by Quizilla

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May 19th, 2004

09:56 am - For My Greek Friend(s) Nemesis ?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla

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April 27th, 2004

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